Happy New Year!

I love this time of year.  I get a kick out of reading all of the "Most Tweeted Moments of 2011" and "Top Plays of 2011" and "16 Fashion Must-Haves of 2011" lists that fill every website, newspaper, and magazine.  It's nice to see what I missed all year.  Haha. But, truly, I love that this is the time of year to reflect on what was and embrace the clarity of hindsight in order to position yourself for what can be.  For me, this is a season of hope and possibility and I get excited just thinking of what the New Year might hold.

But first, a few reflections on what went down in 2011...
We started the year off with a bang, well... more of a crash.  Shawn spent the first three months of the year brokeback and I got very good at tying his shoes. Since Shawn had so much time laying (lying?  I never get this one right.) around there was time to fill out applications to spend the summer in Mozambique.  Just as Shawn was cleared to work, we were accepted to Harvest School and had a couple months to make as much money as possible (we were already 3 months behind in income), pack up our house, and do all the things it takes to get to Mozambique and back.  It was during that time I learned that I never have to question if God has enough grace for me.  It. Is. Sufficient.

Our time at Harvest School was, without a doubt, The Epic Experience of 2011. I will be reflecting on that for the rest of my life, so I can save those musings for later.

Since our return, I am reassured that God's grace won't run out on me.  Life has taken turns I did not expect - or didn't take the turns I was expecting is more like it. But that is what makes my hope for the future even more acute. I know that I rest in the palm of His hand and I can trust in His loving kindness.

We did have a close second in the Epic Experience race this year. Honorable mention goes out to the most Incredible Vacation Ever.  We spent five unbelievable days in Playa Mujeres, Mexico with our best friends and were able to RELAX. I left cold Minnesota feeling like a wrung out sponge that had been burning at both ends.  I came back feeling completely refreshed and revived and a little sore from all the dancing. Thank you, Jesus! I started my 2012 vacation fund immediately.

I have such hope and anticipation that the good work God started in me will continue to unfold in the New Year. More of my destiny will be revealed and I will walk with more confidence. This hope has given me a second wind to keep pressing in and fighting for what I want out of life.

I'm really excited about our new role with IRIS Relief. Shawn took his first trip with IR in December on a two-week response into the flooded areas around Bangkok, Thailand. And while Shawn was shoveling mud out of houses and dressing up as an elf to raise money for an orphanage, I was Stateside helping to build teams for future relief trips. Check out irisrelief.org to see more of what we're up to.

I have a new appreciation for the unknown and for me, 2012 is all about embracing that adventure. I know that I have put my trust in a very safe place so regardless of the outcome I can rest secure. Plus, I'm going to back to Mexico for vacation.

Bring it on, New Year.

Deja Vu All Over Again

So, after a few months of being back from Mozambique, a month of road-tripping, and another month of Shawn working in Minneapolis and me & the kids living large in Duluth, we are now back in our sweet little house in Linden Hills. The wonderful people who own this house graciously let us move back in for two months - they will be back for Christmas and then they're having the kitchen and bathroom remodeled. Living separately or moving in somewhere for two months? Hmmmm. It was an offer we couldn't refuse.

It has been a bit surreal being back because it's like nothing has changed. When we first walked in the house, Luciana ran upstairs yelling, "My bedroom! My bedroom!" And when Judah saw one of our neighbors walking to her house he did a slow motion movie run into her arms.  That alone makes the hassle of packing...unpacking...and packing again totally worth it. 

We won't be here for long, but it feels good to be home for now.

Take the Whine Out of Your Voice and Try Again, Please

I said to myself, "Relax and rest. God has showered you with blessings.  Soul, you've been rescued from death; Eye, you've been rescued from tears; And you, Foot, were kept from stumbling." I'm striding in the presence of God, alive in the land of the living. (a little bit of Psalm 116 from the Message version)

How can you argue with that? God is above circumstances. His goodness, faithfulness, and everlasting love never change. He is awesome whether or not I'm feeling it. Sometimes [read: more often than I'd like to admit] I need to pep talk myself out of a pity party. It is way too easy to let my focus slip from the Maker of Heaven and Earth on to me and what I want and when I want it and why haven't I gotten what I want yet? You get the idea. I frequently say to the kids when they are whining about something, "Is that working for you?" and I hear Holy Spirit calmly asking me the same question. Oh, to really be striding in the presence of God! Doesn't that sound amazing? To be at rest in Him, confident and secure in His love and provision. I could get used to that.  


I think I'll start telling God how great He is and about how much He loves us and about all the amazing miraculous stuff he does [cue: Delirious' I Could Sing of Your Love Forever] and then I'll never get to the whining. 

Update 8: Gloooooorious

Update 7: The Journey Continues

I had planned on returning from Mozambique and spending the next week soaking in my parents' bathtub while they reconnected with the grandkids. Instead, we had a brief, but lovely, layover in Duluth full of washing clothes and eating vegetables. I had also planned on leaving Mozambique with a hand written letter (scroll?), or at the very least an email, from Jesus detailing the future. In my imagination it would include every step along the way - where we should live, where we should work, how far Whole Foods would be from Judah's school... Now I'm not saying that can't happen, I'm just saying it didn't. I had gone all the way to Africa and I thought for sure God would repay me by not requiring me to live by faith anymore. I mean, he would clearly show me how I could serve him more fully. Instead, we left feeling pretty sure that we were supposed to be in California for an Iris Reunion/Conference being held at Iris Central Coast in Pismo Beach. God had given us Step One.  

We stuffed the kids in the car and whatever camping stuff we could find in the trailer and headed west. We drove straight through arriving at the church just as worship was starting for that night's meeting. We didn't stay long that night because needless to say, we were tired.  The kids are amazing road warriors, but they were really happy to crawl in bed. The next morning we were at a meeting for Iris alum and Shawn looked at me and said that he'd had a dream about that very church. We knew were in the right place. One of the people there was Yonnie Cheng the director of Iris Relief and it was our intention to connect with her and see if there was a place for us with IR.  

We had dinner with Yonnie that evening and in between cleaning up spilled chocolate milk and various potty breaks we managed to have a great conversation and confirm in our hearts that this is what we were looking for. The next morning was even better. We met with the small Iris Relief team that was there and spent some time brainstorming and sharing our hearts. By the end of that meeting, Shawn and I had been given responsibility for building the North and South American divisions of Iris Relief.  I can't be too specific about what that looks like yet because we don't really know. Once we start digging into the logistics we'll know more - or less, but I'm pretty sure we'll need some coffee.

On a more relaxing note, we met an incredible guy named Nate who let Judah ride on his shoulders and drive him like an airplane for a LONG time, whose family has a home in Tahoe. He generously invited our family and a couple other Iris Reliefers to spend a few days there.  We quickly adjusted our road trip schedule to include this.

So, we take one step after another waiting on the leading of the Lord. Even though I would really like to know all of the details, I know that this is the grace of God for me. If I knew each step ahead of time I would want to skip to the end and, what's more, I wouldn't need to depend on God. I would run ahead thinking I could do it on my own. This way, I have to press into God, fully depending on his timing and direction. As we were driving through Nevada, I saw a truck pulling a boat and since I was driving at the time I was also having an on-going conversation with God. I mused how funny it looked to see a boat being pulled through the desert - it was so out of place. But, God said that's pretty much what we were doing. We were sure that we had the word of God that he was going to give us the next step and even though he didn't text it to us we had the peace to pursue it in California. Sometimes it looks funny, but that truck knew there was water for the boat and so through the desert they went.  Our journey isn't over yet.  

Update 6: Flying High

Ain't no party like a Holy Ghost party 'cuz a Holy Ghost party don't stop. Our last week in Mozambique was silly crazy fun. It was a love fest. Let me just try to describe one of our last classes: Rolland Baker was due to speak and he got up and just said, "Ask Jesus what kind of mood we should be in for this session (or something like that - I wasn't transcribing at the time...)." Anyway, it wasn't long before people were laughing, hugging, falling all over each other and then a dance party broke out. When bandwidth permits I will post the video. All I can say is Jesus knows how to party. When the Bible says that all of Heaven rejoices when one person comes to know Jesus, I don't picture a polite golf clap. I'm sure the angels are chest-bumping, the great cloud of witnesses is doing the wave, and the Trinity is high-fiving themself. And after the 10 weeks we just had there is A LOT of rejoicing going on in Heaven.

And the party didn't stop there. We got on our plane yesterday and lit that place up. I think there might have been about 6 people on the plane who hadn't just spent their summer (or Mozambican winter) together. It didn't take long before the flight attendants were just relaxing and we were the ones serving the sandwiches and coffee, picking up trash, having prayer/prophetic time for the flight attendants, and finishing up with a fire tunnel exit. One of the girls was even invited to sit up in the cockpit for the last half hour and watch the plane land. It was her birthday and the pilots gave her that for her present. When the flight attendants were making the final announcements - put on your seat belts, the temperature in Johannesburg is winter, etc (they didn't let us do everything) - they also announced that this was the best flight they'd ever had. Yay God!

We are excited to be on our way back. We still don't have the master plan from God - I suspect one of the hallmarks of our life will be that we walked by faith not by sight - but He's giving us one step at a time. Right now our plan is to get back to Minnesota and sit still for a little while. And rest. And eat strawberries. Then we're going to shove the family in the truck and drive out to California. One of the things that struck a chord with us in Mozambique was Iris Relief. When the earthquake and tsunami hit Japan, people from Iris organized quickly and went in to bring food, water, medicine, and love to the people hit hardest by the disaster. From that, they started to work on forming an official Iris Relief. The people in charge of that task are going to be in California for a couple weeks in August and Shawn and I are going to meet with them and see if there is a place for us with them. We are just exploring our options and following the peace in our hearts. We know God has some more connections for us to make and it looks like we have to take a road trip to make those connections.

One quick Judah story before I wrap this up. When we were at the Pemba airport yesterday, we were watching one of the planes load up. It wasn't our plane, but one that a lot of Harvest people were on including one of Judah's new best friends. I asked Judah if he saw any angels and he said he saw 10. He pointed out where each one was and he said one was getting on the plane. When I asked him what that angel was going to do he said, "That one is going to keep everyone safe and give them hugs." That must have been a pretty good flight, too.

Update 5: Wheeeeeeeeeeee!

This last week one of the speakers, David Wagner, was crazy enough to voluntarily pray for/prophecy over every student here.  All 258 of us.  He did it in small groups over the course of the week and to me, it was like Christmas.  When he was wrapping up his prayer for us, he said that God has supernatural surprises for us and that in the next few weeks God would give us the next steps.  Hey-oh! Can I get a witness?!?  We already knew that God was going to be clear with us and that one of the things God wanted to do here was give us those next steps, but there's nothing like a guy you don't know telling you that very thing.  I feel like for the first half our time here I have been gripping the handle of a roller coaster car, white-knuckling my way up the steepest and highest track imaginable.   I know that we are in the right place and the right time and that God wouldn't have sent us (and made other people pay for it) half way around the world just for kicks and giggles.  And I have been reminding myself not to panic; God hasn't forgotten me, He knows where to find me (in House 4), and His timing is perfect.  But, I was as successful at playing it cool as I am at keeping a beach ball submerged.  And then, Christmas in July.  I feel like I've crested the highest peak and instead of short breaths and tense muscles, my arms are flung wildly in the air and I'm enjoying the ride.  Are you as excited as I am for the next couple updates?

Even though we don't have any specifics yet, like what to do with our trailer full of stuff (Sorry, Dad.  It's going to be there for a bit longer) or if I should inform the school Judah is enrolled in that he won't be attending, there are so many things God is depositing and confirming in our hearts.  One of the biggest things for me is the need to be in the presence of God.  To live in and from that place and to be fully dependent on God.  I wanted to be so completely lost in His presence that I can't find my way out.  One morning, Heidi Baker was teaching and she started out by saying she was the least of these - like when Paul said he was the lowest of the low.  At first, I though, "Ah, man.  If she is the least I'm leaster than the least."  But, then I understood the truth.  Heidi Baker is an amazing woman of God who is doing crazy awesome things with and for God. And it is precisely that awesomeness that makes her need the presence God even more - to be so dependent on Him.  In the Kingdom of Heaven there is an inverse relationship between your outward greatness and your inward posture.  As you accomplish more and more things for the Kingdom your spirit must bend lower and lower and very humble before God.  That feels like freedom to me.

Oh, the voice of God is so sweet.  I pray that you hear His voice and know that He is for you, that you are the one He loves with an everlasting love.  

On a final and most important note, we have become friends with a certain Dr. Johan from South Africa and I promise I'm being discrete, but I have been scheming ways to get him to Columbus, Ohio.   You're welcome.