I had intended on naming this whole blog "No Plan B," but that blogspot name was already taken. Ironically, I was able to come up with something else...
While I was packing up our house in Ohio, without any idea of what we were going to do next, I told God, "We have no plan B. It's you or it's nothing. All we can do is trust you and know that you are good." We had just experienced a major financial kick-in-the-pants which necessitated all the packing and moving. Both Shawn and I felt like we were just to trust God and wait - don't pursue the money, pursue God. In the back of my head I was sure - I just knew - we were going to get one of those "eleventh hour" saves - someone would leave a stack of cash on our doorstep, we would strike oil, or something - something spectacular would happen. But, things didn't work out like that and we loaded all of our stuff into a trailer and left it at Shawn's parents' house. At that time, God spoke to my heart the verse in Psalm 121 -...where does my help come from? My help comes from you, the maker of Heaven and Earth. I needed to remember - to hang on to for dear life - the truth that my help, my salvation, is God and nothing else.
That's how it is for me, it's got to be God. If God isn't there, I don't want to be there either. So imagine the hot mess I became as I'm chipping my way through the stack of required readings for Harvest School when I get to page 11 of one of Heidi Baker's books.
Since moving to Mozambique, we have learned to depend on God for everything. If God does not show up there, we are dead. We need to be totally dependent on God showing up. We need his pure presence. If God doesn't show up, no one else will either. If God does not heal, we will be dead. If God does not deliver, demons torment the people to death. We have no back-up plan if God does not take care of our children and provide for our needs. We can't and won't go on.
~ Compelled by Love, Heidi Baker
We have a long list of books, articles, and sermons to read before we get to the school and everything I've read so far is something I can't wait to pass on. Judah was asking about all the books I was reading and I taught him the word "required." Later, I found this stack of books on the counter.